It is the time of the year again, the last post of the year, i suppose=) Was at the hospital with my aunt just now, hope that everything is alright now. When i was at the A&E just now, saw lots of things that made me that human beings are so weak. But again, i felt the strong feeling that we should all treasure our live and also the people around us, cos we will never know when they will leave us. And surprisingly, i started to realize that maybe i want to be a NURSE. Haha, but im still afraid of injections and all the bloody stuffs, so i guess, that was just what i felt at that instant, nothing else.
All these days had been quite fruitful, cos i finally spent time with those people whom i care for and care for me. School's starting in a week's time, and yet, i dont have any "special" feelings. Cos usually when school reopens, i will feel so excited and want to go to school to meet up with friends. This time, what im going to face is a new environment and new faces. That's also something to look forward to=) Year 2005 coming to an end..hmmm...
LOG=)
me, xiang, joce, joyce.
CONFETTI NIGHT.
THIRD FACTOR.
TOILET GANG=)
me and JOYCE, i miss stjohn!
To sum everything up, thanks to everyone who played a part in my life=)
taken on andrew's "farewell party"
i dont care how silly we looked,
she does the silliest thing with me.
all the fun we had can never be replaced=)
i dont want to stop at that entry. it looks so depressing, and thanks to all those out there who care=) like i said earlier, it's over and im fine now.
ok, have yet to buy the present for exchange tmr. from what i have heard, they have all bought the gifts!! Hah, never mind, i shall do that tomorrow morning. Slept over at lj's house yesterday, watched that Jap vcd " Train Man". nice nice nice! that guy there is simply too comical, his face is so silly that it makes him look cute. haha. didnt go to "work" today cause it has been long since i last stayed at home for one whole day. blah. staying at home is fun, i did some housework today and cooked my own lunch. ok lah, it's only instant noodles but i had to admit that it wasnt appealing at all, it looked weird and tasted weird too. thats my lunch and the best thing is that i felt a sense of achievement. haha.
you would have noticed if you care, but apparently, you didnt.
12.38am now. what a nice time to blog. hmm, i just know i have to blog today.
blame it on my curiousity, and now i found out things which i shouldnt have. or rather, i should have but i do not want to know. this always happens, finding out things which do not concern me but have an impact on me. blahblah. i sound so incoherent. whatever, something happened today which made me realise that it is not that perfect anymore. afterall, it has already happened and although everything could be put off by a smile, yar, i just cant sense the "perfect-ness" anymore. for some reason, i was a lousy person today. could not control my emotions that well today as compared to other days. im not someone with high EQ. maybe all along, i thought everything was what i can see, not expecting that there might be something which is happening behind all that smile. i seriously dont know. but given the kind of situation we are caught in now, i cant expect anything anymore. this feeling has been with me for quite a long time, it just comes and goes. i cant say for sure that my feeling is true, but all i know that this feeling will be gone after today, after i finished typing this post. well well, i shouldnt have told anyone, i always feel so weird when we were together, including today. pictures!! yes, i wanted so much to do something today, but something seemed to be holding me back. and i let that chance slip away again, not once but twice. guess it will be something you will never ever know. my biggest secret ever. thanks for everything cause after today, things will just change.
i feel so much better now, even if no one understands whatever im writing above. im the only one who does!! HAHA. =)
i feel sleepy, shall end everything with a nice song.
back at one.
it was fun with joyce, joce and sinyee today. we really had lots of fun (laughing at stupid things!). BLAHBLAH. if i have to type everything down, i doubt i can do that. So, to summarise everything, i love them!! =d
I dont know why im blogging now, why i have nothing to fill up these spaces, unlike weiqian, she says she is talkative. haha. i want an outing!! i miss all of them, and wq just told me they are all working at different places. HOHO, im going to have fun looking for them at their respective places.
"if that's all you are concerned about, too bad" =) there's a reason behind every lie, i know. BUT, i know i just cannot trust you. HAHA.
everything's back to normal again. long gotten used to life like this. =) Was chatting in msn just now, a primary school friend of mine asked me this qns:
"What's the difference between crush and love?"
HAHA, im not an expert in this. So i gave some not-very-philosophical answers. Instead of giving the differences, i think i gave the similarities. LOL. Was rambling on and on and on until i suddenly realised that what i was saying was the similarities. Anyway, that question took me quite long to reply. The answer i gave was
"time"
Stupid answer, yes i know. But somehow, the only word i could associate with that qns was that word. BLAHBLAH.
I hate liars. People who lie, not once, but twice.
Was actually supposed to meet wanling today for that job thingy, but due to the "objection" from my daddy, decided not to go. sorry jocelyn. Even though i dont feel that contented and accomplished working at my dad's place, i still have to cos he needs helpers. HAH, joyce admitted that she is a turtle. Had lots of fun with Johnnies on the day before yesterday, which is thursday. lol.
Had been wondering whats wrong with me nowadays. I feel that im not myself. ehh, as in i feel that i have become another person. Things which happened used to have an impact or trigger a strong emotion doesnt have that kind of effect on me now. I feel weird. Yes, i know that people grow and mature, but it seems that things are changing the wrong way. But again, maybe it others' eyes, this is a good change. I dont know. I dont know why i can behave like nothing happened when sth has happened. I dont know why i can be so nonchalent and indifferent at one moment, and suddenly so enthusiastic and hyper at the next. I guess, i just have to learn how to control my emotions.
Ok, im staying at home today. Mummy reminded me that i must stay at home to take my medicine (which i have not been doing so for the past few days). No wonder im still sick now. Planned to finish watching the vcds by today or tomorrow, so that i will have time to do some other stuffs.
Screaming is a good way to make one feel better. *SCREAMS*
They kept asking me the same question and I kept giving the same answer. Had been thinking quite alot lately (cos life after prom can be so boring) , the same questions just kept surfacing. I wanted to come up with an answer, but i just couldnt. Some things can wait, but some just had to be settled immediately. Whatever it is, life just goes on.
On a lighter note, im going shopping later with my cousin, 2 aunties, grandma and another little kid. LOL, funny combination. Have yet to upload the prom pics cos there's sth with the cable. Speaking of prom, HOHO!! It was fun=) The last day when everyone gathers together, what a significant day! Had lots of fun taking pictures and "running" around. Cheers for Prom Night 2005=d
Blogging can be so hard nowadays( it only applies to me, i suppose). Things dont turn out the way i want it to be. My thoughts just cant be translated into words instantly, even if they could, the words i typed are just not enough to express what i feel. GRRRRR. Never mind.
Feel like meeting up with some friends.